


The Monster Inside Got Out

by Emachinescat



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Whump, Fear, FebuWhump2021, Gen, Poor Jim, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Troll Jim Lake Jr., don't look, febuwhumpday23
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emachinescat/pseuds/Emachinescat
Summary: After Jim’s transformation, he struggles to come to terms with the creature that has stolen his reflection.  Written for Febuwhump on Tumblr. Day 23: "don't look"
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30
Collections: Febuwhump 2021 - Emachinescat, febuwhump 2021





	The Monster Inside Got Out

**Author's Note:**

> Angst is just another kind of whump, right? ;) This takes place right after Jim changes, before he runs off in "Jimhunters." Enjoy!

Upon becoming half-troll, Jim Lake, Jr. had one very important, unspoken rule: _Don't look._

It was odd, because he _knew_ he had changed, even before he saw his reflection for the first time. Even without the added height, the weight of the horns on his head or the scratch of newly grown fangs on his lower lip, he could _feel_ that he was no longer human. It was in his blood, like a virus raging just beneath his skin, a wildness, a foreign power that was terrifying and intoxicating in equal measure.

Despite not having to look, despite knowing what he would see if he chose to subject himself to his reflection, he still looked. There was no way that he _couldn't_ – curiosity and morbid fascination were compelling bedfellows, after all.

The first time he looked, it was in the bathroom mirror, right after he'd changed. There was no way that he was in his right mind then; he felt disconnected from his body. He was like a caterpillar, the bathtub his cocoon, and when he'd melted himself down inside, allowed himself to be broken down and reformed into this new shape, he'd left a bit of him behind, in the black water that even now was disappearing down the drain. Swirling, swirling, draining … gone.

Did that mean that that part of _him_ was gone, too?

Panic filled him in that moment, grasping his heart with its icy claws even as the unfamiliar, boiling flow of bestial power slammed into him like a tidal wave, filling his body with inhuman strength and heightening his senses to a painful degree. _That_ was why he looked, the first time. He had to know what had been taken from him, what had washed down the drain with the enchanted bathwater. Had to know for sure that it was truly gone, and had to know what was left.

And so he looked – and immediately wished that he hadn't.

The face that looked back at him wasn't his. Blue-purple skin, not hard like stone, but no longer soft like flesh, fangs, horns curling up from his dark purple hair – _even his_ hair _had changed!_ At least his eyes were the same. Except, he realized, looking closer, they weren't. They might have been the same blue, but whatever had lived behind them had changed. His eyes had an ethereal sheen to them, a wild danger to them like a natural disaster trapped inside of a living being.

The realization hit him like Toby's warhammer to the gut: He was no longer Jim. _That_ was what had been taken from him. He knew without daylight to confirm it that he would no longer be able to walk in the sun. He had changed so completely that he didn't recognize any part of himself any longer. He felt sick, wondered if trolls ever puked their guts out from fear. Maybe he was a little more human than he thought.

He glanced back at his reflection, regretted it instantly. No, he could see it, right there, reflected back at him. He'd seen this face before, in a dark pit, deep in Trollmarket. That version of himself had red eyes, growled and snuffled like a feral beast, had no sense of reason. How long until the creature in the mirror became just like the beast from The Deep?

Revulsion filled him; he fought the urge to try to claw the unfamiliar face off of him like it was a Halloween mask. The next best option would be to gouge those Doppelganger eyes out so that he wouldn't have to look upon the creature that had infected his reflection – but he couldn't defeat Gunmar if he couldn't see.

And so he turned away, troll-heart pounding in his troll-chest with the ferocity of an attacking predator, and developed his new mantra, the only way to save himself from the specter that had stolen his face and twisted it into something strange and unfamiliar and terrifying.

_Don't look_ , he told himself, surprised that tears still felt hot against his troll-cheeks. _Just don't look_.

And so he didn't, but the pain and the fear stayed, and he ran away.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoyed this little fic! :) I definitely plan on exploring this fandom much more in the future! Until then, thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> ~Emachinescat ^..^


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